A few of you know I go out of my way to explain ideas and concepts clearly so all stakeholders will understand. It is my experience an email or blog provides us all with the time to sit down and read when we are most comfortable. This blog provides friendly approach to sharing ideas, and personal insight.
"It's a great compliment to be trusted than to be loved."-George McDonald.
First, defined trust is the reliance on the integrity and abilities of a person. The essence and value of trust involves faith, confidence, and belief. Often we make the mistake of believing that "trust" is inspired by another person. Actually, "trust" is a verb and is something we give or do.
Love is a "verb" too!
Service over self means to give with no expectation of return. The reward is found in the action itself. Next, to take it one step further consider the words of Francois de la Rochefoucauld: "The trust that we put in ourselves makes us feel trust in others." In real estate terms "trust" is the cement that holds all of the bricks together.
Leaders never compare, contend, or complain about the past, or a given situation. They inspire greatness by providing support, communicating and trusting in the capabilities of everyone around them. Leaders inspire great people to give the best they can, it's never going to be perfect but floated upon "trust" teams and organizations succeed.
Trust comes from three sources:
The personal, the institutional, and one person consciously choosing to give it to another human being.
Providing support and trust to another person leads to belief adding value to your relationship and the true goals of an organization. Provide another human being with trust, and they will return it. Trust is both a verb and a noun here. It is something shared and reciprocated between people. Most importantly, comparing today to past experience can hold the future hostage.
We all must learn to support and serve each other to the best of our abilities. The immediate reward is simply found in "knowing" what we are doing everyday with great intention has value, and is good. Finally, as a business owner, I have been hurt by people I put great belief and trust into. As a human being I have been made fun of, labeled, cheated, and lied to. I know at core I am a great individual and for as long as I can remember I have been a unifying source for family, friends, and total strangers.
My intentions have always been good. I have never intentionally harmed anyone and am genuine in my desire to serve and support other human beings.
The Paradoxical Commandments
1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.Do good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.Succeed anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.Do good anyway.
5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.Think big anyway.
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.Build anyway.
9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.Help people anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.Give the world the best you have anyway.
© Kent M. Keith, 1968, 2001
Wherever you find lasting trust, you will find trustworthiness. It is always true, and it is a principle that you can count on. In the workplace the employees want to trust and believe in the leadership or management. They want to feel safe at work and believe managers are really supporting and looking out for their best interests.
Next, people are the greatest resource for success and value in a business. We usually hire people for aptitudes or energy, but the key to greater performance lies in their attitudes. The more leadership can do to build hope and trust in their employees, the more motivated they will be at work. When you respect an employees ability to decide what they are going to do everyday you will begin to understand how powerful it is for leadership to be trustworthy and true to their word.
Don't Win, Succeed! The purpose here is to point out the importance of Core Principle and Value in the development of any successful organization or partnership. These are lessons we can carry with us at work and through life. The purpose of any relationship or in making a sale is not to "win." It is to arrive together at a better place mutually beneficial to each party or the whole. With all of the personalities and ego we come across in a high volume business environment it is more important to succeed in the long-term than to be comfortable in the now. As leaders we should acknowledge this.
Trust is a Mutual Exchange:
Although I may teach people to trust and love in action without any need for reward or praise, I understand this philosophy will not always make sense to all human beings. Next, we learn at a very young age to want things. Coaching and Parenting is often one big "if - then" statement.
Parents and managers throughout life have used "carrot" and "stick" methods to push performance and to attain desirable results. When we trust and get hurt we become protective.
I would offer this: Life presents people, things, and opportunities all of the time. Be proactive in your future as it is truly infinite. Lasting relationships can only become true if you continually trust and give without fear of being hurt or let-down. Keep at it.
Now, when I say life can present opportunity, it can also be telling us to cut our loss and realize a certain person is not ready for trust or love. I would rather lose a few dollars, or a bit of my ego to learn someone is not trustworthy than to not have trusted and had the opportunity to grow. I will never hold a "grudge" with this type of person in the hope they will find themselves, gain a strong center, and someday become better from experience.
Finally, what I have learned is this: Do not expect people to trust you more than you trust them.If you are a trustworthy person with great intention, people will believe in you and give trust. This is not always perfect but it is pure at the core. If one treats people as if they are unsure of their trustworthiness-if they do not allow people to take on more responsibility, make decisions, or use authority-then how can anyone expect people to trust in return? Here, trust flows both up and downstream. My goal is to simply "be the person I would want as a father, family man, manager, owner, and a friend."
Yours in Success,
Peter Dean Bouloukos Management Consultant Bozeman, Montana
Originally prepared on October 20, 2006 P.S. The Above picture was taken with my two favorite dogs at Bridger Bowl outside of Bozeman, Montana Summer of 2012.