- Peter Bouloukos
The Importance of Family
Updated: Oct 12, 2022
The importance of family: What is learned from family becomes a certain reality as it molds perception on the basis of past experience complete with the actions of those one might look up to. Family instills values and an identity. In a true sense, we are all known by previous actions or choices, not what's in our heart or within a known potential. As we get older a certain awareness develops and this is where true life and potential will reveal itself. You see, we are not a product of our environment as much as we are a product of choice. The hardest thing anyone of us will ever have to do is create and maintain an internal agreement to do a little more, be a little more and to rise up to any challenge. Have you ever noticed ones actions confirm basic values or perhaps fears acquired from family values and subsequent life story? A study of 2000 school aged children asked "what makes the best family?" Very few replied "toys, big homes, fancy cars, giant screen tv's or vacations to exotic destinations." Most children said a happy family is one that does things together, enjoying a day on the soccer field or fundamentally the times everyone was able to participate and share with each other. I often tell this story of a kindergartener's perception of love: When asked what love is, a five year old replied: "Love is when Mommy puts on perfuume and Daddy puts on cologne and they get dressed up, go out and smell each other." Life can be this simple if we let it! In the midst of perceived stress or actual chaos I always tell people to "relax, because nothing is ever under control." To understand this statement is to know human ego strives to control reality by limiting choices to only what is known and most comfortable. Now, we approach family when we expect a hug, pat on the back or words of encouragement. We approach family when we need help. People in strong family units genuinely care for each others well-being and have very trusting and long-lasting relationships. People from strong families feel good about life and the world around them, no fears, no need to run, they tend to be loyal and see things through the good and the challenging. You see, in my bubble there is never a busy day. There are only priorities. Don't create a schedule for the week, schedule priorities and remember to make time for yourself. Family and loved ones should inspire us to get all of our ducks in a nice row, but we have to be aware of our ducks in a sense. We can always find time for family, friends and what matters most...nobody is "busy."
Now life in a family unit should bring both great happiness as well as pain. That's how life tends to work. But it's important to remember family should always come first. A healthy marriage and family relationship is a valuable resource for helping one to endure heartache, failure or a fall. Dysfunctional family or unhealthy relationships create on-going cycles of trauma, problems and certain distrust extending into how one might view the world around them. In life I admire individualism, vision, creativity, charm and a sense of dignity. I love people who have different viewpoints, experiences and ideas and are not afraid to share them. I am passionate about serving others and helping people where they uniquely stand. I can tell you this one thing about me, I could never stand for what I believe in if I didn't have my two daughters, family and a few close friends I share everything with. You see, I learned a lot about the human condition growing up and had a great childhood in most every sense. As I grew older I learned to let go of what was known and to accept new realities and challenges. Some simple, some not so simple, some expensive, some great, some awful, but no matter what I have been able to resource learned experiences while accepting this one reality: The more we learn in life, the more we should realize how much we really do not know. This should inspire us to do more, read more, share and to never hesitate to ask for help. All we really ever have is family and the people we love but we shouldn't be in the business of "memories" or what was. We should all be in the business of "what is, what could be and how to prioritize what comes next." Afterall, we only have 940 Saturday's between our child's birth and when they leave for college... Yours in Success, Peter Dean Bouloukos Restaurant Management Consultant